GaryView: The Last Vampire by Christopher Pike

Lissa: I hate cliffhanger endings.

Gary: I have the next one if you want it.

Lissa: God yes, please!

Gary: So you liked it?

Lissa: It was fun, and a nice change to the whole teen girl in love with a creepy older vampire guy thing.

Gary: Isn’t it still creepy when it’s a teenage boy in love with an older vampire woman?

Lissa: Yes it is. It’s just a reverse gender creepy. And there were some interesting elements to the vampire back story. The whole set-up about the origins of vampires in India, and the gods and demons and stuff.

Gary: That was kind of cool. I did wonder for a while if it might be… I don’t know. Accurate.

Lissa: You mean, where vampires really come from?

Gary: Yeah. I mean. Probably not. But some other stuff is really accurate.

Lissa: Like what?

Gary: Like… um…

Lissa: I’m pretty sure it’s not the suddenly awesome ninja skills, because you’ve always been very scornful of those on Buffy, and you don’t exactly crack a smooth samurai move yourself.

Gary: No, that’s still stupid.

Lissa: And I’m also figuring it’s not the “all vampires are multi billionaires” routine either, because I don’t know any fabulously wealthy vampires. I’m figuring the first time they lose it all in a financial crash, they have trouble developing the right skills to get back on the gravy train.

Gary: (sighs) Yeah. Best bet is to be financially conservative and hope you make a lucky investment before inflation eats your savings.

Lissa: So what’s so accurate?

Gary: The. Um.

Lissa: (frowning) Something’s really bothering you.

Gary: Yeah. Sorry. I shouldn’t have…

Lissa: It’s the stuff about turning, isn’t it?

Gary: Um. Yeah. Yes. That’s… fairly accurate. Mostly.

Lissa: Does it… really hurt that much?

Gary: Sort of. I mean. It hurts, and then it’s kind of… numb. You die. I died. I felt that. Felt it all going, and then you want to fight and it doesn’t feel like it’s going to… It’s… it’s very…

Lissa: … oh my god it sounds awful. Terrifying and awful.

Gary: Yeah. Um. I don’t think I want to talk about it after all.

Lissa: Why do you do this to yourself, Gary? Why do you read these books that remind you of all this stuff.

Gary: Because I’m still trying to understand it, and nobody’s written an actual manual. It’s all I’ve got.

Lissa: Is there anything I can do to help?

Gary: You do help. It’s okay.

Lissa: But…

Gary: Did you know that Christopher Pike is a character in Star Trek?

Lissa: (pauses a beat) You mean the guy in the new Star Trek film?

Gary: There was a Christopher Pike in the original series too.  The original original series. In the first pilot, he was the captain of the Enterprise. Then he showed up again in an episode of the actual series. Called The Menagerie.

Lissa: You know a lot about Star Trek.

Gary: Yeah. It was pretty cool. Even after I was dead.

Lissa: Bet you like Scotty best.

Gary: Yeah. And Geordie in Next Gen.

Lissa: You just like the engineers.

Gary: Sure. But Spock’s pretty cool too.

(Gary goes off into long explanations of the Vulcan home world and cultural habits. Lissa lets him.)

*For newcomers, the GaryView is a review of books/films/TV/entertainment carried out as a conversation between Lissa Wilson (librarian) and Gary Hooper (vampire) , characters from my book ‘The Opposite of Life’. Visit my website for more information.

GaryView: Aussiecon 4 report

Gary and LissaGary (@garyHooper44) and Lissa (@lissawilson83) caught up on Twitter just after the convention… (the feed has been tidied up here to make it easier to read.)

Lissa:  Hey there @garyHooper44 – where have you been for the last five days?

Gary:  Hi. I was at a science fiction convention.

Lissa:   Really? What did you do there?

Gary:  Went to panels mainly, to listen to people talk about SF and vampires and stuff. There was a strange one: zombies vs vampires.

Lissa: Who won?

Gary:  I think it was a draw.

Lissa:   I’ve heard those things have costumes and stuff. Is that right?

Gary:  Some. Jewellery and things mainly. Someone actually thought I was in costume. Saw my teeth and asked where I got them done.

Lissa:  What did you say?

Gary:  I couldn’t think of anything so I just said they were real, I was a vampire, but I wasn’t planning on biting anyone.

Lissa:  God. What happened? Did they panic?

Gary:  Nope. He laughed and said he’d already met six time travellers and a troll. I *think* he was joking.

Lissa:  Bet it’s the first time he’d met a real vampire, and he didn’t even know it. So you had a good time?

Gary:  It was interesting. One person gave me a new vampire book too, for free! The steampunk stuff was great too.

Lissa:  I’ve read about steampunk. That would be just your thing – making new tech out of old tech.

Gary:  I could use stuff from the sixties – I still remember how a lot of that stuff works. But it’s too recent to be steampunk.

Lissa:  You could invent post-steampunk. Pyschedlia-punk?

Gary:  Except you need a better brain than I’ve got to imagine what to do with it. Still, it all looked really neat.

This is when @Dragonsally spotted the exchange and joined in, resulting in this discussion with Lissa:

Dragonsally: I saw the troll! he had long grey hair and a beard. He looked pretty friendly actually.

Dragonsally: I’d be into pychia what ever you called it punk! I just found a photo of me at the con. well, half of me.

Lissa: Oh, I thought the guy meant like an internet troll. Maybe he meant a real one! LOL. Did you see Gary at the convention?

Dragonsally: NO! I would have looked for him if I’d known he was skulking around

Lissa:  I just saw your tweet about the photo. Was it fun?

Dragonsally: You bet. I have the con bug now. I know what I’d do if I won tatts – I’d go to all the cons around the world

Lissa: He kept it pretty quiet, eh?

Dragonsally: Yeah, he did, the sneaky thing

Lissa: Maybe I’ll come to the next one with you both then.

Dragonsally: that would be so cool. They really are fun. You meet the coolest people – all book lovers like us, a big happy tribe.

Lissa: Sounds like my kind of place!

Dragonsally: you would have LOVED the Dealers Room. If I’d had lots of money and a truck, I could have filled the truck with books

Lissa:   I have so many in my Book Cave already! (I’m like a dragon, I keep my books in my room and sleep with them at night!)

Dragonsally: yes, my favorite books are in the bedroom. I’m rapidly running out of room because the list keeps growing

Meanwhile, over in the conversation between @Dragonsally and @GaryHooper44:

Dragonsally: which was your favorite panel Gary?

Gary:  I liked seeing the interviews with the SF writers. Kim Stanley Robinson’s books are really interesting.

Dragonsally: I’m not certain I’ve read any of his yet. I bought a gazillion books home to read though.

Gary:  The Mars books are really interesting. All about terraforming and people living a really long time without being undead.

Dragonsally: that rings a bell. Maybe I have read some.

And then back to the conversation between @LissaWilson83 and @GaryHooper44:

Lissa: Maybe for Halloween we can get together and I’ll help you think of a psychodelia-punk costume.

Gary:  Um. Thanks but. After last Halloween I don’t think I’ll be going to any more of your Halloween parties.

Lissa: It wasn’t *my* idea for you to roll yourself in glitter and come as a Cullen! You were shedding silver sparkles ALL NIGHT!

Gary:  Took days to wash it all out of my hair. It was horrible.

Lissa:  We can probably do a costume that does not involve glitter this year.

Gary:  Well. Maybe. But there were all those people I didn’t know. Maybe we can just watch some horror movies together.

Lissa:  You didn’t party much before you were a vampire either, did you? Okay. We’ll have a private Halloween party. 🙂

Gary:  Yeah. That’d be good.

Gary:  Can we still make a costume though?

Lissa:  LOL. If you want. You find the valves and stuff, I’ll find some fabric.

Gary:  Cool! Maybe I can wear it to the next convention.

*For newcomers, the GaryView is a review of books/films/TV/entertainment carried out as a conversation between Lissa Wilson (librarian) and Gary Hooper (vampire) , characters from my book ‘The Opposite of Life’. Visit my website for more information.

Words are like oxygen

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