GaryView: Get Vajazzled for $17!

This post is the result of seeing this very sign in front of a beautician’s in the city. I posted about it elsewhere, and Sally said I should GaryView the moment. So I did.

Gary: I saw something on a sign the other day that I didn’t understand.

Lissa: What was it?

Gary: It said “Get vajazzled for $17”.

Lissa: …

Gary: What’s ‘vajazzled’?

Lissa: …

Gary: Because it sounds like something they would do on that show you like. With all the singing.

Lissa: Glee. Ah. No. I don’t think so… well, Brittany and Santana maybe. Maybe Kurt, though I don’t think it’s called vajazzled when it’s a guy…

Gary: But what is it? I went in to the shop to ask but they just gave me that look I get sometimes. Like I was asking something weird.

Lissa: You asked? Sorry. Yes. Of course you would, that’s the scientific response. But… The reason for the look

Gary: Yes?

Lissa: Um.  It’s this thing where a girl gets rid of all her hair… there… (gestures vaguely around her pelvis) and then they stick on… bits of jewellery. Sparkly stuff. Crystals.

Gary: (Blinks) Like… sequins. On there…. (gestures vaguely around his pelvis).

Lissa: Yes.

Gary: Why?

Lissa: Beats me.

Gary: I mean you wouldn’t…. (gestures vaguely around his pelvis) …would you?

Lissa: Oh dear god no!!!

Gary: Cos that would be weird, right?

Lissa: And I suspect uncomfortable and unhygienic.

Gary: In the late sixties at uni, a lot of girls were all about being natural and stuff. Some of them didn’t even wear deodorant. Doing… that.. (gestures vagely around his pelvis) is like something in one of those science fiction novels about sex robots they wrote in the seventies.

Lissa: Well, that’s what it is. It’s jazzing up your…(gestures vaguely around her pelvis) … with sparkles.

Gary: Seriously? And they thought I was weird for asking what is was?

Lissa: It’s a weird world.

Gary: I don’t even think vampires are the weirdest thing in it.

Lissa: You have a point. This reminds me though – I have to print out those instructions I wrote for my seniors internet class on how to Google.

Gary: ‘Google’ sounds like what happens to your brain when you learn what vajazzled means. My brain is all googled. Like boggled only moreso.

Lissa: Actually, that’s a fairly valid definition of what often happens when you look things up on the internet.

*For newcomers, the GaryView is a review of books/films/TV/entertainment carried out as a conversation between Lissa Wilson (librarian) and Gary Hooper (vampire) , characters from my book ‘The Opposite of Life’. Visit my website for more information.

Worldcon – September 2010

For anyone coming to Aussiecon, the Australian Worldcon being held 2-6 September here in my hometown, I’ll be in several panels during the con. I’ve also been given a slot to do a reading and signing!

The confirmed spots are:

Saturday 4th September:
10am –  Rm 217: Science fiction and the theatre
Science fiction and the theatre don’t seem to be the most obvious bedfellows, but science fiction has and continues to be presented on the stage from time to time. Every medium brings its own benefits and drawbacks. What are the challenges that face playwrights when creating science fiction? What can you achieve with the theatre that you can’t achieve in any other media?
Robert Shearman, Alison Croggon, Narrelle M. Harris, Bob Kuhn

Sunday 5th September:

1400 – Rm 204: But this is real!
Why are we attracted to fictional horrors when real life can be so much worse?
Paul Haines, Narrelle M. Harris, Gary Kemble, Chris Lawson, Carrie Vaughn

1500 Rm 212: We are all fairy tales: Doctor Who’s fifth season;
In 2010 Doctor Who returned to the screens with a new writer/producer, a new TARDIS,  a new companion and a new Doctor in the form of Matt Smith. How has Doctor Who’s fifth season differed from the four seasons before it? Has the transition from Russell T Davies to Steven Moffat been a successful one? A critical review of the most significant change in
Doctor Who since it returned to TV.
Kathryn Sullivan, Narrelle M. Harris, George Ivanoff, Rani Graff

Monday 6th September:
1000 Rm 207: 25 things I learned from SF
How much of what you know did you get from science fiction? Chromatophores and Kuiper belts, tesseracts and teratrogens—what Newton dreamt and how anarchy might work—we’ve all received numberless infodumps. What are your favorites? Your most exotic. How has science fiction shaped your life, your worldview, and the cool stuff you spout at parties?
Narrelle M Harris, Priscilla Olson, Jenny Blackford

1100 Rm 207: Reading;
1200 Rm 201: Signing;

1400 Rm 204: Vampire and zombie smackdown
Two kinds of undead, no holds barred.
Participants on the one hand – Scott Edelman, Rob Hood, Chuck McKenzie
On the other – Narrelle M Harris, George R. R. Martin, Faye Ringel

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Words are like oxygen

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